Flashy

So, yesterday, in preparation and “research” for the ol’ weekly blog, I took a cruise through Publix (our friendly neighborhood across the street from my office supermarket – truly, it’s the place where “shopping is a pleasure”).

I strolled my way over to the magazine aisle and tried to look nonchalant as I produced a small notepad and ink pen from my pocket.

Yep, Methodist preacher from across the street with pen and paper in the magazine aisle trying to look like everything is just normal.

You see, I was there to steal their headlines. What better way could there be to find out what the magazine people think we’re interested in than to go straight to the source (I know, all these major magazines have websites and you can read their headlines there…but what fun is that?).

Surely, I thought, there would be plenty to write about. That much was true.

I started with the “guy” section. You know, motorcycles, hot rods, guns and ammo, fishing, computers, fitness, all that sort of stuff. Many of them (so I’ve heard) have covers that are not suitable for description on a Methodist preacher’s blog.

“Personal Quests…Exotic Adventures…Epic Escapes”

“25 Easy Ways to Earn More Than You Ever Expected”

“The Easy Way to Hard Abs”

“Very interesting,” I thought. I’d love to take an “exotic adventure,” I probably only need 5 or 6, at most, of those 25 ways to earn more than I’ve ever expected. As for “hard abs,” what I’ve been trying has been pretty easy, but my abs, should I have some, seem somewhat less than hard.

As I glanced up the aisle toward the checkout stands, I tried to see whether any of the cashiers (they were gathered, talking, because it was early and things were slow) were taking note of the weird guy stalking the magazines and making notes.

So far, I was ok.

I worked my way toward the magazines aimed at women. I was scared.

But first, I had to make my way through the celebrity gossip section.

“The Crash of Jim Carrey” (Did he crash? What does this mean? Was he ever stable? I’m so confused.)

“Hollywood’s Obama Drama” (Again, what does this mean? I got the sense they simply couldn’t resist the opportunity to build a nifty rhyme).

Then, there was cooking, gardening and many a magazine dedicated to creating wonderful aesthetic experiences in our homes and for our families ---- or something like that.

We were moving more and more treacherously toward women’s magazine territory. Did I mention I was scared? And that a very fine sweat came forth upon my neck?

“159 Paths to Glorious Gardens” (Again, 159? Why not 6? Or even 1 that would really work? 159 just makes me tired).

“Delicious and Easy Dinners”

Closely followed by…not kidding

“Fight Fat and Win”

Moving to my left (and deeper into a seemingly unrealized irony --- Irony is not really a sought after strength among magazine editors) I found myself now confronted face-to-face with the likes of Glamour, Cosmo and the other female-oriented magazines.

As I stood, pen in one hand and paper in the other, I realized that I had caught the eye of one of the cashiers. Was she pointing me out to her co-workers?

Quickly, I read and wrote…

“Flashy Lashes…Bat Your Eyes with Funky Extensions”

“Updos for Every Length”

Updos? What’s an Updo?

Clearly, I was out of my element.

Quickly and discreetly, I slipped my pen and paper back into my pocket, my little sociological experiment now behind me.

I headed for the cereal bars as though everything was perfectly normal.

Later, the cashier smiled at me as I bought my granola bars, and thankfully didn’t ask if I’d found anything interesting in Glamour.

So…is there a point to all of this? Other than giving you “too much information” about how your pastor spends his Wednesday morning?

I think so…at least I started out thinking so…and of course, I mostly knew in the first place what I’d find on the magazine covers….

The things we “long” for.

Or, at least the things magazine editors think we long for…

Hard Abs!
Big Money!
Flashy Lashes!
Glorious Gardens!
Epic Escapes!
Crashing Carrey!
Obama Drama!
Delicious Dinners!
Updos?!?!
Easy, Easy, Easy!!!

Well…if that’s really the list of stuff that people long for…this preacher’s heart is not encourage.

‘Cause that ain’t what The Gospel is selling.

But maybe there’s hope.

You see, I’ve got my own list that I think the magazine editors may have forgotten…

Love!
Joy!
Peace!
Patience!
Kindness!
Goodness!
Faithfulness!
Gentleness!
Self-Control!

Or, what about this stuff…

Redemption!
Forgiveness!
A Second Chance!
Your Family’s Love!
Real Friendships!
Good Perspective!
Healthy Priorities!

You can’t really put those things on a magazine cover…but they do fit nicely into a book…and even better into a life.

That’s the message of the Gospel…that the things that matter most can be made right. That there is great Good News. God loves us, completely. God forgives us and enables us to live in peace and right relationship with one another.

It’s a lot to believe…you’ve got to experience it to get it. And our prayer is always that SOTH and every other place where followers of Jesus gather together ---- will be those very kinds of places where such experiences abound.

Now, go read something good --- and I’ll see you this Sunday.

Adam

LIFE AT SOTH:

Many thanks to Kathryn Beasley, Kay Gilstrap, Judy Anderson and the whole Community and Congregational Care Team (CCC) for their excellent presentation on SOTH’s new summer lunch program to the kids of our community. SOTH gave over $700 to this worthy cause. More news coming soon!

Sermon Series Continues: Don’t miss this second installment of Adam’s new sermon series this Sunday, “I Love Jesus, But I’m Not Too Sure About Those Christians.” We’re working our way through Matthew 23, this week looking at verses 5-12.

Sunday School continues to grow and thrive for adults and kids! Come join our Seekers Class, Sue Goldsmith’s “Prayer: Does It Make a Difference” class or Adam’s “Leading Your Child to Jesus,” and drop your kids of any age for our Sunday School program after early worship and before the second service @ 10:15 a.m.