What I Remembered: Abundance

Today's my first official day "back" as an active part of "Life at SOTH" since my renewal leave began on January 9th.  I had the time of my life.  I have been so blessed to connect deeply with God and my family in ways that I haven't in a while.

Here's some of the stuff I learned:

1.  Hate to say it, but other pastors don't get it.  

Of all the folks I've talked to, other pastors have the hardest time understanding and supporting renewal leave.  I consistently encountered shock, surprise or maybe even a little bit of contempt from most of my brother and sister pastors.  That's a shame, because we're the ones who preach about the importance of Sabbath, but generally struggle to practice it.

I'm also convinced that it's because of fear.  A multi-week renewal leave feel lazy and privileged, and we pastors are terrified that's how our congregations will view the time away.  Most clergy just don't trust their congregations enough to take the time that's mandated in our Book of Discipline.  And, a lot of congregations probably need to be educated on what renewal leave is all about, and why it's there.

Additionally, there's definitely a right way to do it.  It takes planning, lots of conversation, lots of prayer, and finally a willingness to let go and trust.  Which is really what Sabbath is all about.  Renewal leave isn't theory about Sabbath, it's enforced Sabbath practice...and for me at least, that's what it takes, and it was so good.

2.    Life goes on without me, and that is so good to know.  

It's possible that we pastors have a little bit of a self-important kind of complex going on.  We tend to simultaneously moan about being in the center of the storm, and everything seeming to depend upon us.  Then, we go about the work of making sure that there is a storm, that is centers on us, and that we take on all the responsibility (and the attention, and the credit...you get the idea).

My wonderful congregation and its leadership stepped to the plate and did "the work of the people."  They are church, together.  What a wonderful time of growth this has been for SOTH.

3.  Absence really does make the heart much fonder.  

I found myself today not able to wait to get into the office.  I am overflowing with ideas.  I have deeply missed my church family.  They miss me, or are working to make sure I have that impression (pastor ego is fragile, of course).   I love my church and am so excited to see what unfolds for us next.

4.  If you want to speak, you really need to be quiet first.  

The greatest part of this practice has been 5 Sundays of silence for yours truly.   The act of emptying oneself into a sermon every week has to stop from time to time.  Worst of all, preachers can even become enamored with the sounds of their own voices, not realizing that what's coming out is the sound of a clanging gong with no real meaning of depth.

I've been (or tried to be) quiet for 5 Sundays in a row.  I've let others speak to me.  I've tried to let the Bible speak.  I've tried to listen, so that I might somehow have something to say when the time comes.

5.  Gratitude changes everything.

The most significant book I read during my break, and the most significant book on spiritual practice that I've read in years, is One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  I plan to build our Lenten worship services around some of the material presented in this book.

It's all about the practice of deep gratitude.  Joy, and peace, and faith are all grounded in being truly thankful for the simple experiences of life.

Anger, frustration and some pieces of depression are often rooted in a failure to really see and experience the many good gifts that God has given.  Ingratitude is a denial of the life and grace that God gives us every day.

Breaking the bread and taking the cup together...the practice of "eucharist" is itself a practice of gratitude, and it's the only way that we really can experience grace.  

This time apart has helped me refocus on what I'm truly grateful for, and there is just so much abundance.

6.  All this stuff can travel with us every day.  Jesus himself can travel with us every day.  

I love this passage from Matthew 16:

⁵ When they went across the lake, the disciples forgot to take bread. 

⁶ “Be careful,” Jesus said to them. “Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.”

⁷ They discussed this among themselves and said, “It is because we didn’t bring any bread.”

 ⁸ Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked, “You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread? 

⁹ Do you still not understand? Don’t you remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? ¹⁰ Or the seven loaves for the four thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? 

¹¹How is it you don’t understand...

Maybe there's a way to lay God's pattern on our lives.  Work, play, family, more work, meaningful service, love, gifts, sabbath...all of these can fit together.  Maybe there's a way to remember all he has done for us...and understand that there is always abundance.

Prayer, scripture, people.  Love, grace, service, worship.  Gratitude.  This is the stuff of life with Jesus.

May it be so for us all, and our life together.

Grace & Peace,
Adam