If Only He Knew

I will now do a bit of a review for a book I finished a week or so back. It was my toilet reader.Every time I took a shoosey-doosey, I picked it up and read. The book is by Gary Smalley, and is called If Only He Knew.

Please dont let the tag line located below the title throw you too far off of the book's true content. Its not so much a book about how to get a woman as it is how to keep the one you are with. I know, I know: "But, Mike, you dont have a woman." Yeah, well, call this read a preemptive strike.

Smalley is a marriage counselor, and in this book he shares stories of failed marriages, strong marriages, and resurrected marriages. Interspersed among the real life stories of his own and others' marriages he interjects his personal theories on the situations. He openly admits that most of what he presents is common sense, but submits that we as men (that is the target audience of this particular book) often fail at realizing the obvious and acting accordingly.

Now, time and time again he posits that all relationship problems are the man's fault and that he has yet to be shown the exception to that rule. I am not so quick to jump on board with that idea for two reasons:

1) I dislike universals because they are largely unprovable.

2) It alleviates responsibilty from the women. Marriage is an equal-share endeavor.

While most of what he outlines in the book is, in fact, very common-sensical, it is refreshing to be reminded lest we forget. And, as Smalley points out, though there are sacrifices in need of being made, the rewards outweigh them exponentially; namely those of a healthy and happy marriage, a deepened and strengthened relationship with our wife, and the presentation of a shining example of both in a world where they are too often misconstrued or abused. This book reminds us that we are not done wooing our beloved once the ring is on her finger, but that the fun is just beginning!

My biggest knock on the book is that I found it to be way too repetitive at times. You would re-read bits of information in chapter 10 that you learned at length in chapter 3. So in that vein, it feels a bit thrown together and a little less organized than a book should. It is not an overwhelming problem, but when it does rear its face, it is a little off-putting.

Im ready to pass this one on to the next willing reader. Free of charge as long as you promise to read it, take it to heart, and pass it along, yourself, when you are done.